Lose control
by xxJustBeingMexx
Summary: "She felt like Alice from Alice in wonderland, falling down the rabbit hole into the unknown. Falling like a burning stone, but it feels like he is her gravity. Falling further and further with every glance, every word, every smile. Falling into him there's nothing she can do." A short fic posted for Lily Evans birthday. I don't own the cover image. I edited it from Google images.


**Today is January 30th! Lily's birthday ,so i decided to post this little fic that has been sat unused, and unloved on my laptop for a while now. Not my best **

**work, i admit that but i really wanted to post something.  
**

**This is based on a song called _Control- Matrix and Futurebound ft. Max Marshall. _**

**I don't own Harry Potter, it is the magnificent work of Jo Rowling and I obviously don't own the lyrics used. The lyrics have been slightly changed to fit **

**and not all of them have been used, they are in _italics._**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY!**

* * *

It was October 23rd 1978. The nights were darker and earlier, the air cooler. Winter was on its way.

The Gryffindor common room was filled with students. Some reading, talking, laughing, writing letters home and others completing homework. Lily Evans was one of these students. She was sat alone at a small table hunched over her potions essay. At first glance nothing was out of the ordinary. However James Potter has always been one to notice the details especially where a certain head girl was concerned.

Her fiery red hair was messily escaping her usually neat side braid. Her uniform was crumpled and her tie askew. She seemed to be growling in frustration whilst twirling her quill. It was obvious to him that she was not concentrating and something was bothering her.

Lily felt her body tense. He was doing it again. Why couldn't he quit staring at her like this. She felt the blood rush to her face as she tugged her braid causing more hair to fall loose in her feeble attempt to shield herself from his gaze. She had _lost count of the ways_ she had _tried to shut this down_.

_But the flames never _seemed to _go out_. "Pathetic" she told herself as she thought of _all the dangers _she had _faced_ and _taken on her own_. She had been a prefect and now head girl. Survived a death eater attack. Had her own sister and childhood best friend turn against her. Conquered her fears of not fitting in with the magical world, endured being called 'Mudblood' daily by prejudiced purebloods, and once by her best friend... STOP THIS! She internally screamed, get a ruddy grip on yourself! If you can't cope with this how are you going to cope with joining the order. Fighting for what's right! But she _never had reason to doubt _herself before. It was like she had _no defence_ against him. That bloody James Potter! He _took her over the edge. _He caused her _to lose control_.

This year he was different. He had grown up and matured. Not just physically, he was no longer the arrogant bullying toe rag with a head and ego the size of an air balloon. He had stopped asking her out since the end of their fifth year, he apologised in sixth year and by the end of it they were civil.

But now they were friends, Lily could honestly say he was now just as important to her as Alice , Marlene or Remus. They spent a lot of time together, avoiding him was impossible. They shared a dorm for Merlins sake! She didn't want to avoid him. It's just that t_he minute_ she's _next to him the fire takes hold. _She finds herself _falling like a burning stone but it feels like _he's_ her gravity. _It's so hard not to _let__go_.

She knew how he felt about her. Sirius had told her. He had told her to try not to hurt him, that he wasn't sure James could take another rejection. How James felt he was running out of time. All the other girls who flirted _meant nothing_ to him, that he only wanted her.

His gaze was still on Lily. God she's beautiful he thought. Things were going great lately. _She completed him. _The only problem was that they were friends. _The one and only wish he was to be more than that, to get _the girl of his dreams. But friends was better than enemies.

She felt like Alice from Alice in wonderland, falling down the rabbit hole into the unknown._Falling like a burning stone, but it feels like he is her gravity. _Falling further and further with every glance, every word, every smile. _Falling into him there 's nothing she can do. _

_She was gonna let herself go.  
_


End file.
